Walking through the journey of infertility just stinks. Today was a sad day (I'm allowed to have those every now and again, right?). I know so many have walked through it before me and people are praying and rooting for us- but it still sucks in this moment. I was so angry and disappointed feeling today, I felt like God had just abandoned me. As big tears rolled down my face (in the car of all places..) I kept asking, "What have I done to keep from receiving the blessing of a child?". I'm faithful, I serve you, I try to live a Christ like life. It's a constant, nagging, burden of a feeling. I rejoice in the company of others and love on their babies, but then a sad feeling just overcomes me. I cried for a while and then my pity party was over.
When I got back home I reflected on our bible study of Matthew from last night. Matthew 6 is a lot about worrying. I worry too much instead of just trusting God's plan. I know that I will be a mother someday- it may not look like what I imagine, but I will be one none the less. One verse just really slapped me across the face-
Matthew 6:27- "Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?"
Wow..talk about a reality check. If anything- worry takes away precious moments in life. What a true waste of time worrying is! While I am waiting on God's timing I need to remember to live in the beautiful, wonderful present! There are so many things that I can focus on and not in worry, but in thankfulness! I'm really so blessed. I guess perspective is key.
Post a Comment